Devin Durden treated us to his unique perspective on life this past Spring in a routine he called Hard Jobs...
You ever think about the gimmicks car dealerships use to get you to stop in? Like the popcorn machines? “Hey, come check out our cars and we’ll give you some popcorn!” Do they think that’ll work? Do they think there’s a couple out there who’ll fall for that one? Are they picturing the guy looking around and then spotting the popcorn machine and stopping dead in his tracks and grabbing his wife and saying, “Oooh! Babe, they’ve got Orville Redenbacher over here! Let’s buy a car!”Speaking of hard jobs, how about a stripper? It’s bad enough you have to dance nekked in front of people, but what if you don’t look that good? You’re pulling the day shift. The only guys coming in are toothless farmers. You’ll be dancing and they’ll be throwing quarters at you, ‘cause that’s all they’ve got. That’s gotta hurt. Then if you give ‘em a lap dance they’ve got all those snaps and button fasteners on their overalls that you gotta watch out for. If they just came in out of the field who knows what they’ve got on them overalls. Burrs and thorns, manure. Pretty soon your ass is all pocked and pimply and there goes your bread and butter. No one wants a stripper with a pock-marked ass. I get that. Having a clean, smooth ass is a big deal for a stripper, but here’s something I don’t understand: what’s the deal with doing coke lines off strippers’ asses? Have you seen this in movies and videos? Am I the only one who’s new to this? Is that like some match-made-in-heaven, peanut-butter-and-jelly thing that I don’t know about?